When I told people I was going to Cabo for a business retreat, the general consensus was:
“WOW! That’s going to be AMAZING!”
Yes, it would be, but I also knew I was going to be triggered as f%$*.
I signed up for this trip with 10 other life coaches who, like me, are looking to grow their businesses to super high levels.
In case you’re new to my blog, I’ve been a big preacher on how DISCOMFORT is a GUARANTEE when it comes to growing in ANY area of your life.
So, yeah… Cabo was going to be beautiful and luxurious beyond my wildest dreams, (we were fed sushi on a YACHT, y’all) but I was mildly terrified about shining a light on my fear of getting towards where I want to go.
Enter my baller of a coach, Stacey Smith, who is a force to be reckoned with.
She’s about to scale at almost a MILLION DOLLARS in her THIRD year of being a coach, and her belief that I can do it too, astounds me.
As we mapped out the next THREE YEARS of what we would like our businesses to look like, the panic, resistance, and dare I say, DREAD, set in.
HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO THIS?
WHAT SACRIFICES WILL I HAVE TO MAKE IN ORDER TO GET THERE?
MAYBE I’M NOT A GOOD ENOUGH COACH TO BE PUSHING MYSELF IN THIS DIRECTION.
The third one really threw me into a tailspin.
I’m a heartbreak coach and to be honest, I’m a little bit OVER getting my heart broken right now.
I think I’m READY for love.
I think I’d make an amazing partner to someone.
I think I’m TOTALLY worthy of a healthy, strong, and happy romantic relationship.
So if that’s what I THINK, and am still a firm believer that my thoughts create my reality, then why is the RESULT that I’m NOT in a desirable relationship?
As we mapped out our three-year goals, the most mind-blowing part of the exercise for me was writing 25 things I’d be WILLING to fail at or let go of, in order to reach my goal.
A few were easy to rattle off, like skipping a blog post one week, or accepting “no’s” from potential clients, which I’m actually quite good at, being that I’ve been acting on and off professionally for the last 18 years…
But without thinking twice, #22 almost wrote itself:
I’m willing to let my heart get broken over and over until I meet Mr. Right, without letting it be a reflection of how “good” of a heartbreak coach I am.
My deepest truest self KNOWS I’m REALLY GOOD at coaching on heartbreak, even though I sometimes get super pissed when I think, “Yet again, another dude who flips the switch after being full court press,” which just so happened to me recently.
I teach my clients that we don’t get to have control over our circumstances. We get to control HOW WE SHOW UP under our circumstances, and DAMN I feel pretty freakin’ proud about the way I show up.
With Grace. Class. Vulnerability. Authenticity. Honesty. Respect. And Kindness.
I allow myself to feel the disappointment.
I take a compassionate inventory on my own behavior and fairly evaluate what I could have done differently, if anything at all.
And now a days— for the most part— I find myself to be pretty BADASS in my dating life.
This doesn’t always guarantee me the results I want, but it does offer me an invitation to step deeper into the well of love that exists within.
THIS is what I’m so proud to guide my own clients in discovering.
Our hearts will inevitably hurt in this lifetime, but we can learn to manage it, be with it, love it and build SO MUCH RESILIENCE so that it will continue to stay open and vulnerable and BELIEVE, no matter what.
I love what I coach. I love what I’ve endured so that I GET TO COACH. And I love that I’m still continuing to heal, learn, and grow as a human and as a coach, with zero shameful secrets to hide.
I accept that others might see this as a “failure” on my part. Or not accomplished enough to coach them…
But I’m not for everyone.
And if I keep living it to give it for MY PEOPLE, and practice what I preach with love and compassionate allowance to fall on my face, I will continue to see my life as an exciting opportunity to share more of who I am and how I show up.
What do you want to achieve? What bullshit limiting belief is holding you back from believing you can?
What if being IMPERFECT at what you want to do is an opportunity for you to step further into the fire and come out the other side as a transformed being you never knew you were capable of becoming??
You are exactly where you are supposed to be, my loves. This I know for sure.
But if you want to create a life that’s different from where you’re at, I also know for sure you can 100% MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
ARE YOU READY? ARE YOU WILLING TO ACCEPT FAILURE, JUDGMENT AND LETTING GO OF LIMITING BELIEFS AS PART OF YOUR JOURNEY TO GET THERE?
Happy Claire Your Mind Monday.